Clients have said, more than a few times, "Coach, you don't know my struggle (personally). How are you supposed to relate? You've never gone through what I'm going through.
How can YOU, help ME?!"
This is a solid question. I've asked it myself.
And here's my best answer.
Maybe you're asking the wrong question.
“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them”
~ Albert Einstein
To solve a chronic issue like obesity, depression or pain requires you access a greater place inside YOURSELF. From there ask, "Do I want to heal it?" In every case a person must be willing for healing to be possible.
Here's another question to reconsider.
Instead of "How can You help Me?" A better question is, "Who do I need to become?"
Become the person you trust the most.
Trust is a funny thing. If you don't trust yourself, you will NOT trust anything (or anyone).
Trust is a KEY to Healing
It has taken me decades to learn this. I work on it often and I help others deepen their access. In fact, I see it all the time. When I or my client is stuck, we've hit what I call, The Trust Wall.
The Trust Wall shows up when we uncover a place of resistance in our journey. It's like we've gone as far as we can in the present, version of ourselves.
Tell tale signs you've hit The Trust Wall:
Sabotaging your present strategy by asking for advice from others
Seeing all the ways "It's, NOT Working!"
Discipline goes out the window
Blaming others for your failures
Hiding from the world
Symptoms and conditions get worse
Excuses, excuses, excuses!
These are all common forms of resistance. Expect them. Plan for them. Then, CLIMB that wall inside yourself!
How to Climb the Trust Wall and Get What You Want
Get a Coach! Or, read on for a powerful,
Have you ever seen one of those group Trust Falls?
The personal growth movement went through a phase where every work-shop included some kind of "trust your fellow-man" experience. As in, if you trust these people to catch you, then you'll trust yourself more. Strikes me as kinda backward, no?
Turns out group pressure can cause you to do all sorts of crazy shit. Yet it does little to deepen the trust you have for yourself.
How do you increase trust in yourself?
Body first. That's how.
If your body trusts YOU, then you're most of the way there.
It's like training a puppy. If you yell at it, smack it around, intimidate it into doing what you want, that pup will disconnect from you. Training will take a long time or never happen.
Your body, given plenty of love and gentleness (by you), will feel safe. Safe enough to trust you and your vision for it.
How do your get your body to feel safe?
Through a process of tuning into it and allowing it to be calm and relaxed. Over time and provided you don't sabotage and quit, this will allow you to access a deeper version of yourself. It will come as no surprise this YOU is more trusting.
Why not just use the mind, you know, Willpower?
"OK body. Trust me when I say, "We are DOING this! We are succeeding with this weight-loss strategy for real this time. We will NOT fail....."
How's that working for you?
If personal willpower worked, we'd all be dancing in our RockStar bodies. Jillian Michaels, the screechy trainer from the Biggest Loser has made millions on the failure of willpower.
Tell your body to RELAX. (Relax body. RELAAAAAX)
It doesn't work, does it? However, if you prepare your body for relaxation. Give it a cozy space, remove distractions, keep it warm.
The body will relax all on its own. Ahhhhh.....(lovely)
As this year wraps up and a new one begins, you might be feeling ready for some healing, maybe even a break-through.
To help you access the awesomeness you need to reach your self-healing goal. I'm certainly qualified, but a better question for you is,
Am "I" ready?